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2008-03-21, 11:38 p.m.

Today is my 3 month mark of being clean of drugs. Darren says that's not true because I've had alcohol, nonetheless, I am still somewhat proud of myself. Mentally, I feel much better than I did last semester, while at the time, sitting in a burnt out haze every night is sort of blissful, it is nice to be clear headed, and have the motivation to do more than change the channel. I guess it's really been easy because I haven't even had the opportunity, but I am proud to say that I turned down the joint Chris offered me a couple weeks ago, especially since Chris is one of my favourite people to smoke with. And I know if I would have accepted, I just would have felt stupid afterwards, like "I went 2.5 months and just gave up..." And also I've reached the 2.5 month mark of working out, which is probably related to non-pot smoking. I'm feeling a bit better about myself. The love handles I've been battling with for many years are finally starting to shrink.
It's finally the long weekend, I was so looking forward to doing absolutley nothing for most of the 3 days, but by about dinner time today I realized I was bored and lonely. I can't even count how many times I've said to people lately "call me, lets do something!" and nobody ever does. I guess I should give up even suggesting anything because I just feel stupid when it doesn't happen. I'm not sure if it's because people have better things to do that they couldn't bear to include me in, if it's because I don't play taxi cab anymore, I can't afford to drive people around anymore and never get offered a dime for gas... Well now I'm just starting to feel pitiful. Tomorrow I think i will go to chinook, alone, and get the purple dress I want from Garage, it will be my easter dress
<3

life - death