All I wanna remember is sunflowers and you
2003-02-26, 11:27 a.m.

It's really sad when something as petty as race can come between 2 best friends, Pen has been my best friend for 2 years, and she's the best friend I've ever had... But in the past 4 monthes, particularily the last 2, we've drawn so far apart and it hurts so deep inside. It all began with me getting a boyfriend, and her therefore finding new friends to hang out with, and then I'd spend more time with Mike and she'd spend more time with her other friends. Which has lead to us really not seeing each other anymore... But I assumed things were still fine, but last night she informed me she's not going to grad with us. It felt worse than a slap across the face, she told me she's going with her "other friends" meaning her Asian friends. So I said something somewhat harsh to her, and now we're not talking, she even went as far as to put her shit in somebody elses locker this morning. She told me once that she wouldn't get to hang out with the other group of girls if she wasn't Asian, which I think was her way of telling me that I can't hang out with them, and to not try to, cuz I can't. She gave Tatum a really long typed note to give me, and it was really sad, but it had some good points, and it leaves me feeling like I've lost a big chunk of myself. She loved me when I needed to be loved, and supported me when I wasn't being supported by anybody else. She was all I had for a long time, and all I really thought I needed... That of course isn't true. I neded a healthy relationship to prove that I was capable of it, and now I'm in a good relationship, which has sacrificed the relationship between me and my best friend, or former best friend as it seems these days.

Hmm I will now write about something happier, as soon as I am done writing a cover letter then I am done this part of the class, then I'll be done school early till friday, but it's is quite essential that I find a job, or I won;t get credits, and then not graduate, and that would suck. A lot. I can't wait til school is over today, I get to go to see Sparkles for a bit, pick up my pictures at stuperstore and then go see my SWEETIE!!!!!!!! YAY. I'm excited. HmmI am going to write this cover letter in 20 minutes, and then Not come back after lunch, just leave at like 1... that would be really awesome cuz I'm in such a bad mood. But I'm getting more cheered up.

life - death