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2013-12-03, 8:09 p.m.

So here I am on my 28th birthday.
I had at least thought about booking the day off as a vacation day, and decided against it for some reason. The day started off really well, a 2 hour commute that usually takes 1. Which is something I always love. The work day passed as per usual, slow and boring. And was capped off by another fantastic trip home, this time my bus didn't come period. Eventually the other Cranston bus came, which just meant that I had to walk 15 minutes home, but at that point I just wanted to be moving instead of standing at a verry crowded bus stop.
I came home, and shoveled snow and did dishes and had unappetizing looking left overs for dinner, while Rico sat on the table and watched me eat.
I heard from 2 of my closest friends today... but neither of them wished me a happy birthday. Does it matter? Does any of this? Is a birthday really a day that even deserves celebration once we are past about 18 years old?
On this night 10 years ago, my best friend Pen and boyfriend at the time Mike, drank as much as we possibly could at Loco Lou's. Just for the sake of it I guess.
Now, today I have felt sort of bitter and lonely. Wishing that Darren would surprise me in some sort of way. It's well after 8 and he's not home, and he left around 3 this morning. I really don't expect anything, but just for once, I wish he could have something up his sleeve, even a card he had tucked away in his truck... It likely won't happen.
27 ended up being a pretty big year, I accomplished what most people would think of as a lot. I started a job (that I hate) a week prior to my 27th birthday. I traveled to California less than a month later. Went to Seattle. We bought a house (which I don't necessarily consider an accomplishment, as it was not really something that we earned or worked towards)
But really, I get all down on myself for not feeling like I make any progress in terms of my goals and dreams. But that's not so bad for a year. I'm kind of excited to see what the next year brings. In some ways I hope it is the year I finally get pregnant, maybe me and Darren will finally just elope and get married...
He came home, no surprise, no nothing. That is ok. I really didn't expect it, but a girl can hope
8 days until Mexico!!

life - death