2009-02-11, 11:12 p.m.

It's now been a month since the accident. Just in the past week I have started to feel like a real human being again. I can finally sleep without my heart feeling like it is going to burst out of my chest. I saw my chiropractor who said I needed x rays, a massage and to see a counsellor, the counsellor said I needed to see a medical Dr to talk about sleeping pills. The Dr spoke to me a grand total of 10 minutes before deciding I should go on sleeping pills and anti depressants. I found that after going through all that, I felt more messed up than I felt to begin with... I didn't fill either prescription, the bruises from the massage went away and I just have gradually been feeling pieces of my normal self slipping back into place. I'm still ridiculously tired and I have a bit of insomnia and I'm in a bit of a funk, but every improvement has to count. After rejecting the Drs idea for sleeping pills I looked into Melatonin and invested in a bottle, and they do help me calm down and get to sleep, but end up wanting to sleep for 10-12 hours, and I have a slight suspicion that they may be causing me to be a bit depressed, it is known to be a less common side affect, but I'm willing to wait it out for a little while longer. I am lacking in motivation to the worst degree right now. I can't concentrate and I'm just so apathetic, I'd rather sleep.
I have a mid term in the morning, it's worth like 30% of my grade, and for some reason I just can't bring myself to put in an effort and get all my reading done.
On another note, it looks like I might be going back to college in the fall. I go back and forth from being really excited to really apprehensive. Might be my best option at having a decent career at this point.

life - death