Well last night my grandfather died. He survived much longer than expected and he was in a lot of pain. He was a good man, and if there is a "heaven" or a place for people who were better than most to go after they die, that's where he'll be. I've seen a lot of death in my life, and it's always sad, I've lost a cousin, some great-grandparents and uncles etc. and a few school friends. But a grandfather, is somebody I could never really imagine living life without. The death, and the sadness of it all hasn't really hit me yet... I'm not quite sure how to act around my dad, I asked Muffie what we should do, and he said we should be extra nice and buy him a card and chocolates, and inspite of myself, I had to laugh. It was just a cute thing to say I guess. So I'll be going to Vancouver in the next couple days, and I know I have to pay my respects to my grandpa, but I really don't want to go out there, I hate Vancouver and funerals and the uncomfortable get-together after the funeral. etc etc etc. I'm dreading the drive out there. I wish I could read in the car, but it will only make me feel sick. I'm being so selfish.