everything... just everything AHHH
2007-03-12, 2:52 p.m.

I am feeling generally uncomfortable in pretty much everyway I can imagine.
I feel like I should be writing, and getting it all down, for whatever reasons, but I have this creepy paranoid feeling... I don't want somebody (I would italicize somebody, but I don't know how) reading this stuff, I feel like a mockery is being made of my current rough situation.
My mental state is somewhat better, the never ending need to cry finally subsided, just leaving me with the quiet perpetual thud of depression in my chest, but depression I can deal with. I'm used to it.
Physically I feel like shit. I have been feeling the strangest waves of nausea, and I'm sorta dizzy, and I have this lump in my throat that won't go away or decide if it's vomit or not.
And saturday night, I came home from work around 10, we had a silent night, I put my headphones on and downloaded music all night. I realized while I was about go to bed, that my bottom right wisdom tooth hurt, I woke up yesterday morning and the whole right side of my face is like 3 times the size of the other. The pain got worse... I missed a mid term today, I got it deferred til thursday. Hopefully she will accept a copy of prescription as my Dr's note, because a dr note is $10, and I only have 8.
I guess it's sorta good i have the extra couple days, because in the situation I'm in... I havn't exactly got a lot of studying done.
Sadie is driving me crazy, he is making me feel claustrophobic, he is smothering me.

life - death