the only broken hearted loser you'll ever need
2004-11-03, 4:39 p.m.

i woke up in a terrible mood. probably cuz i was so mad at david last night. i fucking hate being blown off. and he does it more than anybody. we had plans to watch movies, no big deal, but it would have been nice to see him, and when i was home from dinner/binge chocholate eating with ashley he had made plans with out me. not a big deal but still annoying, i was mad enough that i felt all the blood rush to my face. i wanted to hurt myself so bad this morning... so bad. i had my knife out. and i was ready. and so tempted. i didn't cave... exactly. there is one special person who always saves me from harming myself. i know she would have been disappointed in me, and i remembered my team canada poster. and how much she loves me... [thank you] and me and this special somebody. are also planning on taking a road trip to edmonton next weekend, if i can get the saturday off (myke is taking my friday shift) and the roads are good... we'll be all set to go. and im so fucking stoked. you have no idea. the little things mean so much right now... like the cutsey notes pen and i send back and forth to each other. and how i just snapped on david. and that i text messaged darren this morning asking him if he would like to do something tonight and he said back "in all the world there is nothing i would like more than to see you" ashley and i are in a computer lab at mount royal. i doubt this is exactly what they have these computers intended for... but oh well. i've been spending more time with sparkles lately. it makes me happy. i love sparkles. and i love clint ooo clint how much i love you hahaha (just so you all know, clint is the girl formerly known as Pen, and my new name is Brock, you might also hear us refered to as Frankee and Froggie) well this is just get nonsensical

life - death