2004-10-14, 9:45 p.m.

alright mike. you want to know wants going on in my life? i try to keep my life out of this diary as much as possible maybe to try and spare your feelings or something... but here goes
i have a boyfriend. he's not you. and for the first time in soo long, i feel cared for, like i matter. not a burdon to somebody's dreams of being a "rock star" i told you straight out what would happen when you went on tour, and you pretended you didn't hear me. and i was serious. starve yourself for that chick, see how much respect you get out of that, you're not going to have a flat stomach. drink yourself dead, cut yourself to shreads, smoke until your lungs are black and do so many drugs you can no longer see straight. that's what being a rock star is all about right? self destruction. casual sex. digging yourself an early grave.
so yeah my life is great. i havn't been this content in years. i'm not drinking or clubbing much. going to school, working, listening to a lot of music. i spend most of my spare time with darren. i don't know if things could be better. if there is any more about my life that you would like to know. let me know, cuz i'm more than willing to share.

life - death