jealous sound
2004-07-24, 1:10 p.m.

Alright I know it. I'm a bad girlfriend. A liar and a hypocrite. Generally I can't do many things right. I'm sorry I can't always be where you want me to. And that I won't be put on "reserve" at your convenience. I wanted to see you last night. I really did. But timing never works out. I feel terrible. And I want you to know that I don't do it on purpose. You have a band that takes up the majority of your time, and I admit, I'm jealous of the band, of Caleb. The shit that you would drop for them. But never for me. Never. And you're probably jealous that I am attached at the hip to Pen.I don't mean to be standoffish, distant or unaffectionate. I'm sorry that I enjoy going to the bar. I'm sorry that I'm an over all bad person and you would probably be better off without me around to complicate things. I'm sorry that I have to go to Vancouver for a couple of days to see my grandpa. For not being around enough. For absolutely everything that I have done wrong lately.

Maybe just maybe... Try and see it from me point. Do you think I might be sub comsciously distancing myself from you because I know you're going to be leaving... For a long time? And it won't hurt as much this way? I don't know. I really don't.

Don't really know a lot of anything. But I'm sorry.

life - death