much like suffocating
2003-05-10, 6:21 p.m.

I do such a wonderful job of putting myself in a bad mood. My friends really don't care anymore, they're really not my friends at all. Spent most of the day thinking of reasons why I shouldn't go to Caitlyn's 18th birthday party. ie. stupid stoners, everybody will be high and drunk, won't really no anyone, don't like parties. but then I realized, that none of the people I do know, really are my friends anymore, none of them give a shit about me and would care if I was there or not. I sometimes almost miss the feeling of having a big group of friends to hang out with, but I left that, and now... well now I have no parties to go to for aftergrad, not many people to hang out with when Mike's at work. Then Pen told me she wasn't going because she's sick, which is fine, I was only going to go with her. Then Drew tells me that I don't know anything, but I like to act like I do, nice eh? Oh well, tonight I will finish cleaning my room, eat my candy play guitar and listen to music. My room is actually almost tolerable. It's been sooo long since I could see the floor, (litterally) and it's pretty wicked. I miss my sweetie so much, missed your call last night and didn't get to talk to you this afternoon! *sends telepathic message to Mike*: CALL YOUR PRINCESS TONIGHT!!!!!!! Hmm. I'm calmer now. *sigh*

life - death