The song I dedicate to the best night in years... Feb 4/06
2006-02-06, 3:33 a.m.

Save Tonight -- Eagle Eye Cherry

Go on and close the curtains
All we need is candlelight
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight

We know I'm going away
How I wish....wish it weren't so
Take this wine & drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away....it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start cry
'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I......that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone....
.
.
I'm going to learn how to play it on guitar, it's supposed to be really easy. It's 3:30 am, I'm so anxious I can't sleep. I hate Garage, I was supposed to work today, (covering a shift for another girl) But I woke up and puked and had a giant migaine, so I called in sick, and I got in shit (from an 18 year old I might add) for not only being sick, but for agreeing to take some girls, whom I have never met, shift. So I called in and she's like uhh you're not supposed to be here, and I walk in yesterday (3 minutes late) and the spastic key holder was like you're not suppose to be here, so nobody's telling anybody when I'm working, and neglecting to write it down. I hate it so much. It feels like such a waste of a day to fold stacks of t shirts, to find that by the time you're done folding the 2nd (of like 6 or 7 stacks) the first one is already all messed up, so you never get finished. I gave up and said FUCK IT!! And then another never ending process is putting away all the clothes that people try one and don't want. fuckkkkkkkk. It's this situation that makes me think that the only thing i will ever be content doing is selling cd's. It wasn't wonderful, but I wasn't miserable. I almost think that like my head made me sick this morning, like I mentally psyched myself into it so I wouldn't have to go in. But fuck that girl was such a bitch to me. I really hope I find a new job tomorrow so I can call her and be like "yeah you handeled that really poorly, and I found a job where they can gaurentee my hours and I'll be in to pick up my cheque" so far on my list is 1)hotels 2)rona 3)home depot 4)canadian tire--round 2. yeah that's how desperate I am 5)im gonna beg Ikea to hire me. I have to put out 12 resumes tomorrow, and then perhaps Darren won't kill me. He's so angry at me over this all. I don't understand how somebody could ask another, who they love, to sacrifice their happiness for money, but that's just me. Different upbringning, my dad always told me I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to, and I guess in darren's family, who is obviously a little bit better off and much more money oriented, just are more the 'suck it up and deal with it' type. Maybe I'm selfish, but I'm not willing to stay up at night and be anxious to the point of nausea over a job... But I HAVE to find something I can tolerate, even for a month. According to the website, you get up to a monthes free rent when you sign some sort of lease at those southland apartments, that would be too good to be true. We're beginning our house hunt on wed. should prove to be interesting. A common feeling for me these days, I don't know whether to throw up or cry...
But last night... It was so nice, to see a glimpse of the old me. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was trashed, I felt beautiful. Although I realized that I had changed, then all the BC boys started harassing me to take off my flames hoodie, and I wouldn't, because I was just wearing a tank top underneath... And nobody wants to see that. bleh. Well time for me to go...And me and my friend Evan are talking about his supra and my 240, and his buddy's 240, (which is gorgeous) So now I just wanna cry over that... stupid 240.

life - death