S.O.C.I.A.L.I.S.M is here to stay
2003-07-26, 7:33 p.m.

I hate this feeling I get when you're not around. It's hard to tell whether it's nausea or otherwise, all I know is I get a horrible feeling in my stomach, I can't eat and sleeping is incredibly difficult. So often I wish I was you, but even more, I just... wish you were here. With me, where I know you're safe. I love you so much. Please be ok. I hope you're show was fun, it sounded like a lot of fun. You always get to do the good stuff without me... Oh well...

I don't have to work tomorrow, I get to go to a tiny tiny little town outside of Lethbridge for a funrel. I don't work until next friday. HEHE. And MAYBE, just maybe, if I'm really lucky, I'll get paid this week. That would just be wonderful. But seemingly unlikely.

Last night/this morning was soo bizzare. Hearing that comment I used to hear every day really shook me. How do you help somebody who's life is so badly falling apart, and is obviously in pain, and trying to drink it all away? There isn't a lot I can do... Just listen. Under different circumstances it would make me happy. But I don't have it in me to hate anymore. Don't have the energy.

There are so many people I would like to hurt, show them what they did to me, make them die inside for a while, and let them cry. SOOO many people...

I love you too much to hurt you intentionally. Well hopefully by the time I wake up on monday morning you'll be home, and I'll come and see you. Still considering calling in sick? hehe

life - death