When all the sun shines down on you...
june 25, 1am

it's 1 am, I'm so tired i can barely see straight. I'm staying up because I want to talk to you when you get home, and hopefully NOT fight until 5 am?

I've become a dreadfully boring person, I bore myself even, I pace around and do nothing about 80% of the time, I wonder why people even bother talking to me. But for SOME reason... I still get calls. My mom says I'm driving myself crazy. I'm so irritable, so angry all the time. IF I don't get my own way I'm automatically pissed off, but it's only with a couple people. Jordan's playing a show on the 27th at Carpenter's Hall. I'd reeeeally love to go see him, but I don't know if I have $10. Seems like a lot, considering I don't know if I have that much. I found the WICKEDEST cowgirl shirt today, I wanted it so much, but once again, not enough cash, maybe I'll go back and look for it when i get some, might not be for a while though. *sigh* hehehe. The fact that I have one very similar to it seems to escape me. I emailed 4 people last night and nobody wrote me back :| im very angry now. Not really. But hey. I'm gonna go take out my contacts and get ready for bed and return in about 10 minutes. :) And now it is back. I feel very comfy now. But I need to replace some of my PJs as they all have gotton large holes in them, and I like to wear them out on an occasion. I would like 2 blue pairs. From wal mart or zellers, possibly superstore, i'm not picky. I keep forgetting to take my pill because I have been staying up so late. It's not a good thing to do, fucks up hormones pretty good, and I think I'm having enough problems as it is. I even put them in my purse tonight So i wouldn't forget, but low and behold. I DID!!i left in hope that you would be on MSN when I returned, but you're not. How disapointing. Maybe I shall find some random losers to talk to, which is it tonight, MSN chat or ICQ... maybe both. YES!! Country music CAN be quite beautiful, but it can also be incredibly BAD. I'm enjoying it at this point in time, it makes me happy, and I can sing to it quite easily. When I was in grade 10 this girl I barely knew told me I would be an awesome country singer. i thought that was such a nice compliment. Then i told somebody recently this, and he said that it's not a compliment at all because anybody can sing country. I want to have a beautiful singing voice, I want to make you smile again. I know I'm hurting you, and I'm sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me, I can't figure out why I'm so mad all the time. If it gets better as of...Maybe tuesday, then we'll say it's definitely the pills. Give me your opinion. I DO love you. So much. You're my heart and soul, but right now, my soul seems to be lost, but it'll be back, I hope. Do you want to go to that show with me on friday? That would be a lot of fun!! pweeze say yes?

life - death