I miss it all
2013-09-04, 8:38 p.m.

Sometimes I can't help but miss my old life. I miss my old job, I miss doing something that means something to me, that makes me feel like I am doing something that matters, or at least counts towards something. I miss feeling like I am a part of something, like am on the team, like I am an important member of the team, being the "head" of the team didn't hurt either.
I miss laughing until I cried, or doing ridiculous things just for the sake of it, like jumping out of the truck in a parking lot and dancing with your crew to a funny song, just because it is funny.
I miss having a connection to somebody, a deep meaningful connection. I miss it so much sometimes.
We have been in our new house for 10 days, and it really doesn't change anything. We are in our new home that is beautiful, and we love it so much, but on the same hand, it really doesn't change anything. Nothing really ever changes... I am still neurotic and underwhelmed with my life and my job. I am tired all the time, and still waiting for something to happen.
Being a 24 year old landscaper forever would have just been so much easier.

life - death