2013-05-06, 9:24 p.m.

Things don't feel quite right.
Even though I made the conscious choice to stay at my job, I still feel unsettled.
I feel like something is missing, but I don't know what it is, or how to fill the hap.
I feel kind of lost. Perpetually unsettled
Shouldn't I be getting over this by now?
My job isn't amazing, but I have settled in, I have gotten to know my coworkers in my general age group and for the most part I think they are getting to like me. I know I can be a bit of an "acquired taste" as I like to say. They seem to think I'm funny, they let me borrow their books and DVDs. They don't include me in their out of work activities or any of that stuff, but that's ok. I like to think I'm fitting in, but I dunno.

I have an interview on Friday to teach kindergarten for a daycare. It is something that I think would be amazing for me. My fear is that it won't pay enough, I need the experience so bad, but my expenses every month are pretty crazy, and we are just about to try and get a mortgage to buy our first house... All of this makes it really difficult to take a cut in pay. And as odd as it is, sometimes I get worried about leaving the job that I've been so busy hating for the past 5 months... I guess because it's just another change, and it takes me so long to get settled anywhere.
I am so scared to start teaching especially because it feels like it's been so long since I have been in a classroom, and I have never worked with kids under grade 3... Do daycares that offer kindergarten have professional development and support that new teachers need?
I'm scared. All the time.

life - death