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2012-08-20, 9:12 p.m.

Today marks the 9th anniversary of Layla's death. Even after this many years, it is hard to fathom that she is not out there somewhere, being a 27 year old woman. It happens less often now, but every now and again I still catch a glance of some very blonde hair, and for one fleeting second, I think it's her. It still seems weird that she never got to grow up, fall in love, have babies, see the world and so on. Someday I hope I get over the "unfairness" of it all, but I doubt I ever will. An 18 year old girl dying less than 2 months after graduating from high school will never be fair. It will never make sense. I will never come to terms with it. But such is life, we have to accept things even if we can never be ok with them.

In memory of Layla, I listed to her song tonight. A song that I don't usually choose to listen to, it's still too hard to hear. It always reminds me of teachers asking "were your parents big Eric Clapton fans?" "No, it'a an Arabic name."

Following Layla I searched out several other songs that felt right for tonight.
The Kinks - Lola
Kenny Chesney - I Go Back
Soundgarden - 4th of July
Pearl Jam - No Way
Deftones - Passenger

life - death