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2012-08-18, 9:11 p.m.

I *always* want to be the girl who has lots of friends to see/friends who want to see me. It's always so important that people make the effort to see me/contact me. I always feel like I am somewhat forgotten about. To some degree I'm fairly sure I really am forgotten about. But today, I had plans with 3 different people. I went to some street festival with Courtney, then went to meet BC Ryan for what was going to be a drink, ended up wanting to bolt so just had water, and then tonight I had a drink with Nola and her boyfriend. And I sitll came home with this empty sad feeling. And I realized that to some degree I think it's because all of those people were going home to their happy relationships. And I was coming home to an empty apartment. I generally love my home in the apartment alone time, but somehow tonight it felt kind of depressing to know everybody had plans with their loved one, and mine made plans without me and went to play poker. I dunno. Sometimes I feel like I'm pretty lucky to have absolute freedom to do whatever I wanted. And sometimes I Just wish he cared a little more. I'm lonely.

life - death