summer so far
2007-06-25, 9:48 p.m.

Well last night I worked for a while on a fairly lengthy entry, and then got up and accidently shut my computer off. This resulted in my moaning for a while, wanting to hit my head against a wall, and then just getting frustrated and not trying again.
But I really don't want my summer to pass me by without any of my little trivial memories noted...
Life is moving SO fast, I've been working for over 3 weeks now, and It's just ZOOMING. I'm learning how to use a tree pruner, it's really heavy, so before I can get really good at it, I'll have to gain some more strength in my arms and chest, but even in 5 days I went from being able to hold it for about 15 minutes to about an hour or so. It's like 10 foot long pole with a giant blade at one end, and an engine with gas at the other. hehe I'm tan, having shit loads of fun (for the most part) and making SOO much money. My next cheque should be $1500 before taxes, so about $1100 after, which is SWEET, I'm working on the tree pruning crew with Darren right now, and we work the longest hours for the most part, so out of everybody else working for the company, Darren's cheque will be the biggest, and then mine. Just because we work 50+ hours a week. It's funny, last year I felt really alienated from Chuck's crew when I had to work with Rachel, I HATED it, I hated her. But now she's the alienated one, the stupid spoiled princess who we all sort of joke about behind her back "yeah she buys stupidly expensive sunglasses and jeans" "her starter went in her car so she bought a new car. WTF" and we're all a bunch of hippies. We joke about shit all day long, and make fun of each other, and she has no sense of humor what so ever, she wanted to put her ipod on in the truck one day and Darren told her no music with g units, bling, hoes, bitches or mother fuckers, and she looked pretty disappointed, and we continued to listen to stuff lacking the above mentioned things.
So other than work... well I'm a maid of honor which I'm pretty stoked about. Although I feel quite badly that I really don't have any free time right now to participate in wedding actitivies. But when the wedding gets closer I definitely won't be working this much.
Hmm... Well last friday. (the 15th) I woke up in a oddly happy bubbly mood, friday and payday FUCK YEAH. So me and Darren were driving to work, chatting, and there were these 2 little deer running around on the 22x, they were soo cute, and as I was telling Dare I wish i had my camera to take a picture of them, one of them ran across the highway, and promptly got hit by an oncoming VW bug, it flew through the air and landed in a heap on the ground. I screamed so loud, and cried for the rest of the way to work. I felt so helpless, and just so devastated for the poor little guy, and for it's friend who survived... Even an hour later, I was still choked. Lately I find that I have been becoming an activist of sorts, of animal and environmental rights, it feels sort of nice to have a cause, but also so fucking frustrating to feel like you have so much to work against. Like I work my ass off to recycle and reuse shit. But it seems like just as fast as I'm trying to save something from going to the land fill, I see people throwing out unused garbage bags at work, throwing away pop cans, leaving trucks running when it's not necessary. But such is life. I guess this is another aspect of my father coming out in me. Just another hippie tree hugger. Work that day ended up being fine. I was using a fire blow mower. SERIOUSLY. Several times I'd start it, it would back fire, and then blow fire out the exhaust. The first few times scared the shit out of me, then I was mildly amused. So I told Darren that my fire breathing mower was setting trees and bushes on fire as I mowed, so he asked me if I was putting these fires out, so I told him no, and he just looked at me for a second like I was sooo fucking crazy, while Chris is just watching me mildly ammused, and then me and Courtney burst out laughing and Darren's like "you're so full of shit" I had him going for a minute though, so fucking funny. Who would just let trees go up in flames?? I guess the people near Lake Tahoe in California are wondering the same thing, a huge amount of their buildings have gone up in flames, and they think it may be due to human activity.
So that night we drove down to Claresholm, it was dark out by the time we got out of the city, and little did we know, I was driving into the worst storm I have ever driven in my life. It was raining so hard that my windshield wipers couldn't keep up even at their fastest speed, and anytime a car would pass in the opposite direction, their lights would reflect on my lane, making everything just a wet blurry mass of confusion and I couldn't see a thing. It was sooo scary, I was gripping the steering wheel as hard as I possibly could, just kinda whimpering "I want my Mommy." It was soo stressful, and we didn't get to Claresholm til 11:30, where of course Erin was all "a truck passed me and splashed so much water on my windsheild I couldn't see for 30 seconds, I was almost in tears" Well fuck I drove in it for over an hour... And then she starts complaining about how hard her job is...It's fucking La Senza, yeah sure you have to move stuff around, but she also gets tired from going to superstore cuz it's too big. Normally I bite me tounge and ignore her, but I had to put my 2 cents in "obviously you've never done my job." Today is my 3rd day is an many weeks that I've spent drenched to the bone. Last monday night I spent a little while with my hair dryer in my shoes...
So this past sat night (23) we went over to Chris' spent some time with him and his wife. It's so weird, almost everybody I/we know is married or engaged now. It was so nice to go hang out with them, I hate couples who I feel awkward around, like they're all cuddly, and I don't know where I should be looking, or if I should leave the room. But they're a lot of fun. Chris is pretty much one of the coolest people I know, I really enjoy him.
And Reed is also one of my favourite people on the earth and I saw him a couple weeks ago. So much fun, as always.
And this upcoming weekend I'm going to Edmonton with Lindsay. I'm pretty excited to go spend some time with my aunt. But a bit nervous as Darren and I havn't been apart for 3 days in 2 years... But I try and not think about it, cuz I don't he's not gonna be missing me too much. haha.
Well I'm sure the previous entry that I typed and lost had lots of stuff in it that I missed in the rewrite. But I suppose that's ok...
Oh yes, my wisdom teeth. I survived, obviously. And It's been a month as of yesterday and I'm all healed up. The surgery was on thurs. the 24th, and the following friday, the 1st of June, i started work, which was a rough day, i was still on painkillers, but in pain, and it was like 26 degrees out. But yeah, I was soo nervous that morning, when I was walking down the hall way to the operating room I had tears running out of my eyes, but the Drs and nurses were sooo good, the guy who put me under scared the shit out of me, I thought he was gonna be the surgeon and got all nervous "isn't Dr Conley supposed to do this" and he explained he was just the anathesialaist (can't spell that) and he asked why I was looking at him funny, and the nurse had to tell him that I prolly couldn't see him without my glasses. So the Dr. finally came in, and he was soo sweet, the last thing I remember was him stroking my hair and my hand, and then I woke up, and I thought I had only dozed off for a second and still had to have my teeth out, cuz I thought I was gonna be awake for the surgery, but just zoned out. So I was all confused, and looking for the little round sticky things they put on my chest to monitor my heart. The nurse watching over me was so intuitive, she knew exactly what I was looking for, and what I was trying to tell her with a mouth full of bloody gauze. *blech* I told her she had to be careful when she took out my IV cuz last time somebody took me iv out, i fell, which isn't even true. haha. My mom said the whole way home I just kissed my teddy bear, but I didn't, I was just nuzzeling him for comfort. I spent most of the first day sleeping in my mom's bed, and she was just babying me, but I woke up and had drooled blood all over the sleeves of my spongebob PJs, and I got up, and found my dad and brother asleep, but she was still getting my prescriptions (t3 and my antibiotics, both of which made me sick) so I just went back to sleep. haha. she got it all off though. There was snow that day, and a fair bit of it. at the end of May!
I really learned that weekend who would be there for you when you needed support... Lindsay and Darren are the only people who contacted me. I drove to Edmonton for somebody who doesn't give a shit about anybody, and can't even bother to send me a fucking text message.
There is no karma... That's my latest theory
Well it's time for me to make my morning preparations-get my water bottles ready and plug in my i pod and get my tired and sore ass to bed...
I'm gonna be aching soo bad tomorrow, I fell trying to climb into a trailor today, and it was slipper, so I smacked like my top ribs so hard I knocked the wind out of myself...

life - death