*cries*
2007-05-23, 11:07 p.m.

Well tomorrow is the day that I have put of and worried about for many years. I finally am having my wisdom teeth out. I am not excited about this by any means, But I think it's time. Each bottom one has been infected, and that hurts like hell, and my face puffs up for a few days, so I figure once more. And I'll be done with them. But nonetheless, it's gonna suck. I don't know if this is the best idea I've ever come up with, but I'm going to stay up as late as possible, so I'm too tired in the morning to worry too much. I dunno if that actaully will work though... Probably not. Nonetheless, I'm going to take advantage of this, and just watch as much TV as I can stay awake for.
I have had a weird summer/spring thus far. I told myself if I didn;t have a job by May 7th, I'd call Doug and go landscaping, so May 7th rolled around, so I called Doug, and he said he didn't need me yet, and he would call me and let me know. So I get a few job interveiws, got hired on the grounds crew at the Glencoe Country club, it sounded OK, but I would have worked 12 days straight, then got 2 off. So that was gross, it was super far, and it still didn't add up to full time, it was only 6am-11am every day. So I didn't start, and took a leap of faith that I would get the job I had interveiwed for earlier the same day... I started that job yesterday. And it was the worst day of work I have ever had in my life, even worse than the 12.5 hour days of landscaping when I was so tired at the end, that I fell over. So anyways, I started, and it was a small construction company owned by the dad, and run by him and his 2 daughters. And the dad was a psychotic screamer, and that is just NOT something I can handle. He didn't scream at me (but he did give me shit for parking my car in the wrong place... how the hell was I supposed to know?!) but I lived in fear all day, every time the phone rang my stomach would fill with butterflies, cuz if it was for him, I would have to talk to him. FUCK. It was just so BAD.
So next week, after my mouth is feeling better, I will be going back landscaping. yesterday was SO bad that I sucked it up, and called Doug during my lunch break and pretty much just had to "sell myself to him" as Darren said. He seemed happy that I'm be old enough to drive this year... So I think it will be ok. Good money, long hours. I think subconsciously I've wanted too all along, I look at pictures of us at West Ed last summer, and I was so tan, and thinner than I've been in like 2 years. So It'll suck... I'm sure somedays will, but it'll be worth it. I'll be tan, get exercise, and finally be making some money. YAY. I'm stoked about that prospect. And I think I've been feeling somewhat guilty that I wasn't working like actually working *hard*... So... yeah.
I quit Garage tonight... Wasn't really planned or anything, but it won't really work out while landscaping, I told Doug I was available full time, and I don't want to work at stupid Chinook on my weekends, so yeah... I'm just hoping that Douche Lindsey will let me buy a few last things with my discount. And apparently we won some sort of sales contest and we all get a free pair of pants and a tank top, so I put a pair of the pants on hold, and I'm just hoping she'll let me get them. I'm not holding my breath, but she better be prepared for a fucking fight.
Well I'm not allowed to eat anything after midnight, so I have 23 minutes to make sure I have enough food in me for 12 hours...
Fuck... this is gay. I do not want to participate in this at all.
I hope somebody will come visit me. Or send me lovely text messages so I don't feel so sad :'(
How grown up of me... I just went out and put my planters in a garbage bag so they won't get frosted tonight.
Snow... i can't believe it.
By my next entry hopefully my face isn't swollen and I am actually working... how sweet that would be.

life - death