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2006-11-30, 11:30 p.m.

I'm not sure if it's natural to feel this depressed over the fact that nobody wants to/is able to celebrate your birthday with you.
It's really pathetic.
But Dare said the sweetest thing about it, I was whining about being friendless and he said "well at least we have each other" it was pretty much the perfect thing he could have said.

Come to think of it, I don't know if I'm more depressed about having no friends (who give a shit) or the fact I can't get my body to look the way it used to. I can work out all the time, starve myself, eat super healthy, super terribly, and I just keep looking worse and worse.
If this is what getting old is going to do to me, then I probably would have been better off-offing myself in high school like I wanted to. -later- Who knew that something as simple as seeing jade's myspace page could make me feel so fucking bad so fucking perfect. the perfect body. the perfect weight. what happened to me... what the fuckkk.

life - death