Red on a rose
2006-08-08, 7:49 a.m.

I can't help but find it just a little bit ammusing that I should be on my way walking to Southland Registry to get my car plated, and then go to Crystal Gardens to do some watering. But here I am (or was about 4 minutes ago) curled up in my PJs in a big comfy blanket, watching an ancient rerun of Dawson's Creek. I'm also making some Spongebob Zoodles. It's 8:09 now. I'm not closer to the registry except for the fact that I ate my zoodles. hehe I havn't even made my lunch. So it's really time for me to get going.
Just had to waste a little more time Oh dear. It's 9 already. And I'm all ready to go. Just procrastinating. Not necessarily because I don't want to go... but because I can I guess. I've gotten over the feeling of rejection when I get sent to work alone. Now I'd rather be alone because I can read all day and lay on the grass and nap. And it's going to be effing hot today, so I can keep nice and cool. And I've also come to realize... that if I dislike everybody so much, and figure they dislike me equally, then why do I want to work with them anyways? I can't feel rejected by them if I'm not with them. I realized the other day that one of the worse feelings I can come up with, is feeling completely alone while surrounded by people. All the boys are sooo in love with this 18 year old girl at work, and she's best friends with the girl I strongly dislike... so it's like the boys are all over her, and they're always all giggly and shit. so why even bother being around them. The other day my crew met up with the crew they were on and everybody got out of the trucks, I just decided to fuck it and sit in our truck alone and sulk and text message. I've kind of ran off on a tangent and completely lost my train of my thought... But yeah. Essentially. I coudn't be happier to be workng alone today. And the rest of the week is calling for rain. And I'm in the process of contemplating when to give my one week notice... The idea of just being over with it all feels like such a huge weight off my shoulders... The rent for this month is paid, and cut off for my next cheque is today so I already have a full cheque for the 15th. And then I get my student loans on the first. So maybe I could give my one week notice tomorrow. Then just work at Garage a couple days a week. Darren has also said I could work 3 days a week if I want, and he'll pay $600/month rent. As long as I keep our apartment SPOTLESS. Something tells me I would fail miserably at such a task. I suck at cleaning. And i get bored/frustrated half way through. Ok I'm really leaving now. Please text/call me today people! And download the song The Red on a Rose by Alan Jackson <3<3<3 SOOO in love with it. I'm trying (and failing) to convince Darren that it should be our wedding song.

life - death