Kitties saw us do it. Again
2006-06-10, 7:19 p.m.

well well well. My income tax refund has finally arrived, $266.59, which is much more than I had been anticipating, I'm excited!! I'm going to try and save most of it to go to Edmonton in 2 weeks.
I've been mowing lawns for the past 3 days with the landscaping fun, and it's actually not bad at all. I enjoy doing real work instead of pissing away time in a stupid store. The days go by pretty quickly (even though yesterday I worked like 10 1/2 hours and then I worked 7 hours today, on my saturday!!) Thursday we got rained out, which was grosss, I put a whole new meaning to the term "looking like a drowned rat" fucking sick. But at the end of the day my body is tired, like in a good way, like knowing that I worked hard, instead of just a bored, drained feeling that I was getting from Rona. My muscles are getting more and more toned every day, I'm getting pretty tan, and my confidence is slowly growing. Not being at Rona has done more for me mentally than I could ever of imagined, the feeling that I had for so long, that I could only ever have the potential to work at HMV for the rest of my life is gone, the sore throat I had for 2 monthes is gone, and my habit of eating due to boredom is gone, and therefore so is my chubby face, Darren says you can see my cheek bones again and what was beginning to resemble a double chin is gone too. So for more than one reason, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. When I water, I'm alone all day, and there's nobody really to judge as to whether or not I'm actually doing a good job, but on a mowing crow there is somebody who is watching and judging every move I make, but I'm not getting any feedback whatsoever. One guy told me straight up that he was going to give me special treatment because I'm Darren's girlfriend, and I told him not too, and he said he had too... I think a lot of them are worried about hurting my feelings and then me going to Darren and then him being mad at them. (Darren told Doug, who owns the company and a few other people that if this one guy (Jason, who's a complete loser/tool) made me cry (another girl cried cuz she was put on his crew) that he'd kick his ass) So nobody is telling me if I'm doing alright or anything, I straight up asked Johnny yesterday to tell me if I was doing a bad job, and he said to ask somebody else. So today I asked Chris, and he said "Naw it looks alright." So what does alright look, it could be better? It looks fine? And Darren gave me a little lesson on making lines instead of just typical Alli crazy patterns, and nothing other than it looking "alright" And neither time was it used how alright is often used like sarcastically. So I dunno, I personally think I'm doing an awesome job and that they all look really good when I'm done, yeah I'm pretty slow, and my lines get kinda crazy sometimes... Grr. Frustrating.
And you really know how well your body really works until you really start using it. Endorphines, all of our best friend, they supress pain (and your appetite) while you're working hard. I smashed my thumb reeeeeally hard yesterday while trying to start a mower (I can start a mower like nobody elses business now) into the bar on the mower, and it went numb, then tingled, then throbbed like mad, and I felt my eyes tearing up, supressed a scream, and the pain like disappeared. I'm just waiting for it to turn black, because I know it's going to.
We had sex in the shower after work. Just thought I'd add that in, WHILE my conditioner was soaking, so it's like multi tasking
Well me and Dare are thinking about going for dinner, but can't decide on where to go, So I'm thinking of calling Pen and waking her from her nap and then going to the Cage with David and James, it would be just like old times. Although as she would put it, I don't know if I want to go down that road... Again. Just stay clear of that time of my life. They're both too pushy, and I'm easy, and I have way too much to lose. I have everything to lose.
All the hair on my arms is finally all light light blonde, I'm so impressed, I'm such a hairy kid.
Hmm. time to go decide what to do tonight.
Love, Me

life - death