blue stars at this particular time, on this day last year, i was sitting in my former living room, in my great grandmother's pink recliner.. stoned on ativan and crying my eyes out like never before, due to darren breaking up with me the night before. I didn't sleep at all that night. I don't know if I have ever been so hurt, and broken feeling... It's kind of weird to look back on that day... when i think about it, I still feel hurt, but i've healed. so here i was this morning, at 7am, awake although i still had another full hour to sleep, due to a throbbing wisdom tooth. it hurt a bit on wednesday night but by yesterday the whole left side of my face had puffed up and it hurt like hell, and it's only worse today. i havn't been to a dentist since i don't know when, so I guess i had better be prepared for the worst. i know i probably need a good cleaning, a filling, possibly 2 and to have my wisdom teeth pulled. i'm not excited... i called in to work, for the 2nd time this week (i called in on tuesday so me and pen could go hang out. i was too depressed to work) and im contemplating not going in after to the appointment, just have to come up with a good reason as to why. and same goes for sunday... they know i have an emergency appointment. me and darren are going to go to claresholm tonight, so that he can go pick up his dad's gold clubs, so he can leave me next weekend to go to a pretentious yuppie bachelor party. i was invited to the bachelorette party, but opted out, due to being at least 5 years younger than all of those girls, it just didn't really sound like a lot of fun to me. and fuck, what is there to do for a party in claresholm or nanton... i've been so mad at darren all week about this stupid bachelor party, he doesn't have the money to go so he's either putting it on a credit card or borrowing it from his parents... which frustrates me to no end, i've been crying, begging for weeks for him to take me away, i'm desperate, and depressed and i need to go away so bad, and of all things. he's leaving for a weekend instead. |
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