Already somebody's baby
2005-10-06, 12:56 a.m.

The sky is crystal clear tonight. You can see a million stars. It's beautiful. Occasionally on warm nights, I love to sit on the front steps alone, and just stare into space...
Went to dinner with Darren's parents tonight to celebrate his birthday. Things get considerably easier as I get to know them more.
I'm not enjoying school as much as I had been hoping for... You know how they always use the 'last kid picked in gym class' analagy? That's how I feel, except in gym class, I didn't care if I got picked or not, because I didn't want to play. I keep trying to see if I'm imagining it, but I can't shake it... I keep trying soo hard to make friends, harder than I've ever tried at college. Like I had a midterm yesterday, and me and this other girl has the same break, I asked her if she wanted to study with me she said no... because she had to go to gym, she definitely emphasized that she HAD to go... I neede ONE definition, so I asked her if I could meet her for like 2 seconds before class, she didn't know, I walked into class, and there she was, hiding at the back, avoiding eye contact at all costs. And then there I was, trying to concentrate on my stupid test when all I could think about was 'I'm a loser...' it's kinda sad. Oh well...
Ashley called me last night to see if I wanted to go to the gym today, which made me very excited. And Braden called and we talked for almost 2 hours last night. It was soo nice to go work out with Ash, not so much for the working out part, which I do enjoy, but it was just good to talk... And me and Jade had a long talk at the bottom of the stairs today after class, it was also great, we're planning on going for drinks on friday after class, I'm looking forward to it. And I asked Pen if she wanted to go out Thurs. night
Three cheers for human contact.
I'm addicted to TV.
Everybody download--- Twilight by Elliot Smith!!!!

life - death