2005-08-27, 2:37 p.m.

i suppose it's been a while since i wrote anything of actual substance. i am yet again without a computer, surprise surprise. i am sitting in darren's cousin's bedroom. the guy is like 35 and has a star wars bed spread. darren thinks im just being mean when i say this but im really surprised that this guy is getting married (to a woman) but whatever, im being abandoned for a week for a cat. dare had to go to work for a few hours, i planned on getting up early and walking through mackenzie towne and do a bit of shopping, but i had a hard time getting back to sleep after he got up for work and then i had 2 nightmares, one in which he appeared one day with a girl who was about 16, nothing was said of the girl but in this dream i assumed she was meant to be an addition to our relationshipm or a replacement of me. i kept on yelling and yelling and nobody would tell me who she was, and them she disappeared and darren all of a sudden had a huge butchers knife in which he was repeatedly stabbing into his wrist, so i screamed for my dad, and he came and snapped the pointy end off the knife, and darren was mad becase it was sentimental. it took me a while to shake this dream off i felt kind of nervous for a while, and had to keep reminding myself that it was just a dream. then the 2nd dream i had this shampoo that was supposed to put really nice highlights in your hair, so i put some on a peice on one of the bottom layers of my hair, and it worked really well, but it started to spread, so i just had blonde chunks all over, so i put it all over my hair, and then it turned pink. i had pink hair, very strange i have to say. i wonder what these mean, if there is any significance behind them...
but shit this is a stupid keyboard. one of the ones that is like split down the middle. i dunno how to explain it. but it's aggrevating. i have to watch so carefully to make sure im not screwing up otherwise everything is off.
so yesterday Mike and I got together for the first time in quite a few monthes. it's always sort of weird seeing him. just knowing somebody that well, and feeling so comfortable around them, and everything is so familiar about them but... you're not together anymore. i dunno. i never know what to think after i see him. but we had a good time, he tried to give me a guitar lesson, but Hobie gave me some bizzare tylenol the night before and i think i may have been borderline high until late last night. darren said i was kind of all over the place, i couldn't really talk on one subject or thought for more than about 30 seconds, because i'd distract myself and then talk about something else, i guess i generally do that, but not to the same extent.
so yeah. here i am in freaking lake mackenzie or something. i got extremely lost while trying to get here last night. i was ready to scream. he should be back in about 15 minutes, then we are off to claresholm for the 3rd weekend in a row. i kind of think we stay there as an excuse to spend the night together, i'm allowed to stay in claresholm with him (and my parents have to know we share a bed, don't they?) but i can't stay at his place... whatever. today is my grandparents 50th wedding anniverary... wow. so that's why we're heading down this particular weekend.
so yeah. hear i am. without a computer i find my thoughts filling my mind, but as soon as i have an opportunity to so, they kind of escape me, and i sit and babble. and i wrote kev a babbling email. it's his 24th birthday.
this cat here has the most pitiful meow i've ever heard, but he's fairly entertaining. he climbs not only on the kitchen counters, but on the top of the fridge and on top of the cupboards. last night we played hide and seek for a while. he goes to the top of the stairs, and i see him, he runs. so i climb down a few stairs and hide, them he seeks me. it's great. and when i got out of the shower a couple hours ago he was sitting in front of the door waitind for me. i have this impression he wants something but i have no idea what. if izzie wants treats he climbs on the counter, if he wants water he sits in the bathroom sink, if he wants food he meows at his dish and follows you around, trying to cut in front of you so you can't leave without feeding him, and if he wants to be petted he flops onto the floor of just puts his head under your hand. easy. nice simple cat. well it's 3:15 now. D should be arriving mementarily.
well in other news... i'm kind of a disaster right now, Darren accidently hit me with a practice sword in the knuckles last week, so i have a hurt hand, then in order to answer my phone the other night i tried to jump over a chair, and smashed my baby toe, it turned black and made me limp for a few days, it's a little better know, but as black, but the bruising has spread onto my foot, then yesterday whatever fake shitty upolstery is in my car got heated up and left some painful burn/rash on the back of my thigh. and then after being lost for howver long last night, my elbow got smashed on the door
well darren has arrived it is 3 20. i didn't go buy my grandmother a gift. perhaps he will take me on our way out of town.
well...i guess that's enough typing just for that sake of it.

life - death