Don't leave me high
2005-04-12, 7:14 p.m.

I'm clinging to him again... Not really sure what to make of it. I have this sneaking suspicion that it has to do with Nelly (her name is Neelie, but that's a really ugly name so I call her Nelly) How is somebody supposed to live up to her. Having supermodel looks and being rake skinny. This girl Noelle made a point some time ago, jokingly she said that I let myself go after I started dating Darren, and I realized that I most definitely did. I gained weight, started dressing like a slob, and generally just not putting any effort into myself at all. And as I've dropped a couple pounds and gotton just a little bit dressed up, put on a bit of make up, my self esteem has sky rocketed, and of course now I'm getting all sorts of attention again. This is kind of demented, but it's good to know that you're not with your significant other because you don't think you can get anybody else, and as was pointed out by this guy at a pub the other night, I could have had any guy there. But I'm so in love with Darren, he's the one I want to be with. Most people would probably say that I'm much too young to be saying that, it may not be true in the long run, but for right now, he's just I want. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and that's been my conclusion thus far. We've been going out for 6 monthes today.
And now that I sound completely over-confident and conceited, I'll stop.
I rented a lap top from mount royal to try and get some school work done. I'm over half done my longest of all my papers. I've been downloading music for 2 days now so that I can burn some CDs when its time to give it back. I havn't got to burn music for monthes, I miss it ever so much. I am getting sick of sitting in front of a computer screen though. Maybe I should give Darren some space tonight, or maybe I should call and bug him...

life - death