sexy black dress
it's been a long time since i've touched this diary. while i've been keeping up with everybody elses, i find myself with very little to say. i like diaryland for the fact that you can read the thoughts of your friends, and complete strangers, and realize that you're not alone. that a lot of people feel the same thing, and sometimes reading other peoples makes you realize what you'r feeling when you can't quite put it to words yourself yet. i read ashley's words, and her emotions are so real, and i can relate so well, and while it makes me sad to know that she feels these things, but it's a comfort, cuz i often feel the same things. she just has the ability to write them much more beautifully than i do. but sometimes diaryland can also be somewhat depressing, it really makes you see that you're not really as much as an individual as you'd like to think. somebody else has already felt what you have, and written it down in their diary, but in better words, somebody has already done everything that you have... you're just one grain of sand on an entire beach... you may hurt a lot, but it doesn't really matter to many other people, if anybody.
my thoughts these days are getting a bit weird. i have insomnia again... i worked at 10 this morning, which meant i had to be up at slightly after 8. i didn't sleep till after 3. i wrote and wrote in my journal, and read. listening to the radio and hugged my teddy bear. i've come to realize that i may be subconsciously repressing more than i might like to think. yeahi dunno. im no good at this diary thing. im much better at writing on paper.
so i won't try and express. nobody cares. im off work now for the next 6 days. im such a broke ass. i take too much time off. everybody at work put me in a giant box today (like really giant,i could stand up straight in it with room to spare) ok maybe it's not THAT big, but it was bigger than me! then they taped me in, and gave me a breathing hole, they fed me crackers through this breathing hole, which i proceded to eat as tho i were a savage beast in a cage, they said they were going to post a sign that said "do not feed the alli" i enjoyed being in there. i thought about bringing it home for my own amusement. me and ash are going to matt good on sunday. im quite excited for this i must say. im also excited by the fact that my cat eats marshmellows, and i think he just licked one and made it all sticky and is now laying on it, and it'll prolly be stuck to his fur when he gets up. poor izzie. i have a new black dress that also excites me, i just don't really know when/where i will ever wear a black dress such as this one, but it;s sexy and that what counds. well im starting to dose in front of the computer, im boring myself even. sheesh