Cuz you're a comfortable liar.
2003-02-28, 11:42 a.m.

Here I am, been home for like 30 minutes... It's like 11 45 and my day is already over. Tonight... I will find somebody to do something with. And tomorrow I told my grandma I'd help her with a garage sale... BLEH... She just told me that my aunt had a stroke, that scares the hell out of me, she's not even very old. Around 53. So of course I said I'd go help poor aunty out... But this weekend I have to get a grad dress, and a nice small skirt and go to the car auction with Drewsie. YAY! Cars, I dunno if I'll be able to drive again... It'd be different if it was my car, and I was paying the insurance and it had collision on it, cuz if I crash a second vehicle that isn't mine I have a feeling I'll be looking for a new family, preferably in Zimbabwe. The good thing though is that I think I can feel again. I've been about 98% numb for a year now. And all of a sudden I can cry again, and I can laugh all the time, and it feels so new and unfaimilar. I used to cry excessively, pretty much every night, but that was fine, cuz I still laughed all the time as well. And it meant I was sane, I was aware of what was going on and how I felt, and that disapeared. But after monthes over excrutiating emotional pain I guess I kind of shut down inside, just to be able to get through a day. And the ideas of cutting myself are 100% OUT of my head, I havn't even thought about it for quite a long time (Well a long time for me) so that would be a good thing for sure. I'm surprised I'm not more upset about the whole Pen thing, but I really don't seem to care, I don't have to see her except for like 10 minutes on the bus in the morning but I think I'm going to start taking another bus or walking, tension isn't fun and it makes Tatum act weird. So I should just stay away from her and Pen. At least I was honest to her, her friends ARE rascist bitches, and she is too.

__STARTING A NEW PARAGRAPH__

That was impressive, a new paragraph, i never do that!! HAHAHA all those stupid kids are still at school for another 40 minutes. SUCKERS! MUAHAHA

Im really starting to anticpate the summer, I hope to not be working at all, but I might have to. if anybody will hire me at all, that would be a miracle and a half though. Going away with Mike is going to be sooo wonderful. Will my parents even let me go? Do we care? Do we just leave and disapear? That would be sorta cool though, romantic run-away like. Like in Mad Love. YAY I'm going to Pick Your Part now with my dad to get a new truck window. I LOVE the wreckers! last time i climbed in the tired pit all dressed up in my preppy skank clothes. byeee:D

life - death